Maintaining a healthy intimate relationship contributes positively to our well-being. However, the COVID-19 pandemic has significantly increased challenges for numerous couples.
Dr. Lisa Destun, a clinical psychologist at Old North Psychology in London, Ontario, notes, “Many couples have lost access to activities we have long considered normal, such as dining out or traveling. These experiences provided essential chances to unwind and strengthen our bonds with partners.”
Compounding the situation with shared workspaces, financial struggles, and home-schooling has resulted in increased boredom, frustration, and conflicts within relationships. In extreme instances, these tensions might lead to divorce, with legal professionals in Canada and the US forecasting that divorce rates will rise above the usual averages following this challenging period.
Managing the Stress
The additional stresses brought about by the pandemic can result in emotional withdrawal or outbursts directed at partners, which understandably harms relationships. It is essential for couples to engage in self-assessments regarding their relationship and personal well-being before reaching a breaking point.
Assess Your Relationship
Similar to a car requiring regular servicing, it is vital to frequently evaluate the health of your relationship. Destun recommends discussing various aspects such as affection, intimacy, communication, shared responsibilities, quality time, and financial matters.
Self-Care for Emotional Regulation
Destun points out that in the pre-COVID world, individuals typically had more opportunities for solitude, whether during the commute, at the gym, or through casual interactions at work. She emphasizes, “We might not fully recognize the importance of that time alone, away from home, for regulating our emotions.” Thus, even if in-person activities like yoga are not possible, devising creative methods to recharge is crucial.
Reconnect by Starting Small
Fortunately, revitalizing the relationship does not necessitate lavish outings or luxurious vacations. Research from Penn State University indicates that simple gestures—like holding hands and demonstrating regular kindness—are among the most significant ways people express and feel loved. Here are effective strategies to refresh your relationship.
Prioritize Genuine Conversations
Many couples get so busy with daily tasks that they overlook engaging in discussions beyond practical matters like shopping lists and schedules. Destun recommends establishing a daily time free from screens and children to foster stability and connection, which could be as simple as sharing a morning coffee or taking an evening walk together.
Express Affection
Emerging research suggests that affectionate touches among couples yield numerous benefits, such as boosting oxytocin (the “love hormone”) and lowering cortisol (the stress hormone). Furthermore, affection enhances emotional security and positivity within the relationship.
Explore New Activities Together
Engaging in new experiences activates the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine—one of the neurotransmitters that foster feelings of pleasure often associated with the early stages of romance. Trying out a new language or sport can evoke cherished memories from your earlier days together and benefit your relationship.
Seek Professional Help
As Destun advises, considering couples therapy may be beneficial if disputes become unproductive—especially when resolutions are rare or arguments evolve into issues themselves. Additionally, if disconnection rather than conflict exists, “therapy can create an environment to focus on becoming closer.”
