A strong and harmonious intimate relationship contributes significantly to our well-being. Yet, the COVID-19 pandemic has notably challenged many partnerships.
Dr. Lisa Destun, a clinical psychologist at Old North Psychology in Ontario, emphasizes that “Couples have lost access to everyday routines we previously took for granted, such as dining out or traveling, which often provided essential moments for relaxation and reconnection with one another.”
The combination of cohabiting in a shared workspace, financial challenges, and home-schooling has created a hazardous mix that fosters boredom, frustration, and discord among couples. In severe cases, these strains may culminate in separation; legal professionals in Canada and the US forecast that divorce rates will exceed national averages in the wake of this tumultuous year.
Managing the Stress
The additional pressures stemming from the COVID-19 situation can lead to withdrawal or explosive reactions towards our partners, adversely affecting our relationships. It is essential for couples to be proactive, evaluating their relationship and personal feelings before reaching a breaking point.
Assess Your Relationship
Much like scheduling routine maintenance for a vehicle, it’s vital to periodically evaluate the state of your relationship. According to Destun, it’s crucial to discuss various aspects, including affection, sexual intimacy, communication, household duties, quality time together, and financial matters.
Practice Self-Care to Stay Regulated
Prior to the pandemic, many had more opportunities for solitude, whether during commutes, gym sessions, or casual workplace interactions. Destun notes, “We likely don’t recognize how vital time alone outside the house is for our self-care.” Therefore, even if your favorite yoga class is now unreachable, finding creative ways to rejuvenate is crucial.
Begin Small for Reconnection
The good news is that mending unhealthy patterns in a relationship doesn’t necessitate lavish outings or elaborate vacations. In fact, a study from Penn State University indicates that simple gestures—like holding hands or expressing kindness—are top contenders for enhancing feelings of love. Here are straightforward ways to refresh your relationship.
Make Space for Genuine Conversation
In the chaos of daily life, couples often overlook deeper discussions beyond managing schedules or grocery lists. Destun recommends dedicating time each day for a focused conversation free from screens and distractions, whether it’s enjoying morning coffee together or taking an evening walk.
Encourage Intimacy
An expanding body of research indicates that affectionate touch between couples offers numerous benefits, including an increase in oxytocin, the “love hormone,” and a decrease in cortisol, the “stress hormone.” Furthermore, consistent physical affection fosters emotional rewards, leading couples to feel more secure and positive about their relationship.
Explore New Activities Together
Engaging in novel experiences stimulates the brain’s reward system, releasing a surge of dopamine—similar to the feelings experienced during early romantic love. Activities such as learning a new language or participating in a new sport together can rekindle the excitement reminiscent of the honeymoon phase.
Consider Professional Guidance
Destun suggests couples therapy may be beneficial if you find that arguments are cyclical and ineffective—exemplified by a lack of resolution or discussions becoming the focal point of the conflict. Furthermore, if disengagement arises despite no active disputes, “therapy offers a space to prioritize and focus on nurturing a closer bond.”
