Consider the Timing of Your Divorce
By Jeff Anderson | Contributor
When children are involved, choosing the right time to initiate a divorce can be challenging, but certain times of the year may be more suitable than others.
Typically, there’s a discernible trend regarding when individuals file for divorce. Filings tend to decrease around the second week of May, then rise again shortly after the school year commences. They decline once more around the second week of November, only to increase again by the second week of January.
Judges often hesitate to approve changes in schools mid-year, making it essential to commence divorce proceedings before the school year begins if you wish to transition your children to a new school. Filing earlier in the summer tends to be a better strategy. Keep in mind that legal processes can be slow, often requiring weeks to schedule a hearing. However, if you plan to keep your children in their current schools, you may choose to wait until just before school starts to file.
Consider Your Children’s Emotional Well-Being
The emotional effects of a divorce on your family should be a top priority. If your children are aware that a divorce is coming, initiating the process before school starts may be wise. The anxiety leading up to the event could be more stressful than the event itself, and starting the process before academic demands take over might ease some of the tension.
If your children are unaware or unsure about the impending divorce, it might be better to wait until after school begins when they have settled into their routine. This allows them to have a different focus during a difficult time.
Family Vacations and Holidays
Summer vacations are often a consideration for families. A traditional family vacation, especially if it’s the last one as a complete family unit, could provide lasting memories for the children. However, if this vacation is likely to be tense or uncomfortable, it’s probably better not to create negative memories. In such cases, cancelling the trip may be the most considerate choice.
Holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Hanukkah, Diwali, Ramadan, and Kwanza are also significant for various reasons. They facilitate family connections and can reinforce a child’s sense of spirituality, providing comfort. Few divorces tend to occur during these times, mainly to allow children to enjoy the festivities.
Communicating with Your Children
Regardless of when you decide to proceed with the divorce, explaining the situation to your children is often the hardest part. Before engaging in this conversation, it’s advisable to consult with an attorney or counselor. Many suggest that both parents should break the news together, reassuring the children of their love and clarifying that the divorce is not their fault.
When you do make the decision to file, it’s essential to have a plan ready. Your children may be anxious about their future, and the more information you can provide, the more secure they will feel.
Editor’s Note: Jeff Anderson is a partner in the Family Law firm Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP. His legal practice is dedicated to family law litigation, focusing on complex property issues, custody, and enforcement matters. Jeff holds a certification in Family Law from the Texas Board of Legal Specialization and is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. www.ondafamilylaw.com
