7 Actions Parents Can Take to Prevent Domestic Violence
by Dr. Dean Beckloff | Contributor
Violence within families is a troubling reality. Recently, a tragic incident occurred where a woman fatally shot her two daughters following a court dispute with her former spouse. Behind closed doors, numerous children live in fear due to the abuse they either experience or witness.
Abuse is frightening and has devastating effects. Children who are abused often grow up with significant anxieties, deep fears, and intense anger. Those who observe abuse develop a warped understanding of reality. As we now understand, these children are likely to become abusive adults themselves, continuing the cycle of violence. We must implement change to ensure our children grow up strong, resilient, and with the ability to thrive.
Research indicates that rats raised in enriched environments with ample resources exhibit less violence and engage in more caring and playful behaviors toward one another. Healthy, supportive surroundings lead to kindness and reduced dependencies. This insight is applicable to us as humans. We need healthier, more nurturing “cages.” Our communities, cities, and homes should be filled with love, kindness, healing, and a sense of community, free from violence.
What Parents Can Do to Combat Domestic Violence:
1. Speak up and voice your concerns. If you suspect someone is experiencing abuse, each state has anonymous hotlines you can call. These services exist to offer assistance to those in need, not to “report” them, but to provide the necessary help and resources. By remaining silent, we risk condoning and allowing the situation to worsen. Speaking up can potentially turn the situation around.
2. If you notice parents struggling with frustration towards their child, respond gently and avoid judgment. Everyone requires compassion. I have seen parents publicly criticized for struggling with their children. Instead of scolding, we need to extend a helping hand.
3. Be mindful of your own behavior. If you experienced severe spanking as a child, proceed with caution. I chose not to spank my children; we imposed consequences without physical punishment. If you endured aggression as a child, commit to breaking that cycle by starting with your own actions.
4. Acknowledge your mistakes to your children. Be honest about when you falter. If you raised your voice when you shouldn’t have, admit to it. Children will learn responsibility more effectively if they see it modeled. Owning our mistakes helps prevent resentment from building up in relationships.
5. Witnessing abuse is a form of abuse. Understand that even if children are not direct victims, witnessing abuse can harm them. They are likely to experience long-term consequences such as PTSD and emotional stuntedness. Seek help immediately to ensure the children’s well-being. While the abuser may not physically harm the children, the emotional damage can be profound and lasting.
6. If you are divorced, keep an eye on your children’s experiences at the other parent’s home. Be vigilant for signs of neglect or abuse after separation, but also be careful not to jump to conclusions too quickly. It’s beneficial for your children when you and your ex-partner maintain harmony. However, if you identify issues that may threaten the children’s safety or well-being, it is essential to speak out. Addressing potential threats from another parent or step-parent can prevent negative circumstances for the children.
7. If you find your anger overwhelming around your children, seek help. Consider reaching out to a counselor. Being proactive in addressing your emotions displays to your kids that you prioritize positivity over negativity within the family.
Contact Dr. Dean Beckloff at Beckloff Pediatric Behavioral Center
drbeckloff.com | 972.250.1700
