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By Christa Melnyk Hines | Contributor
Want to cultivate more happiness in your household this year? Consider changing your outlook. By embracing a more positive mindset, not only can you enhance your own happiness, but you’ll also influence how your children navigate the challenges of daily life.
“Children observe their parents. They absorb emotions and beliefs. An optimistic disposition can be infectious—just like negativity,” explains psychologist Dr. Kristen Hensley.
The Benefits of Positivity
A hopeful perspective can increase productivity, energy, and motivation; lower stress levels; boost confidence and self-esteem; improve health; and enrich relationships with others.
“A positive mindset can also enhance flexibility in our thinking and make it easier to identify solutions to problems,” Hensley notes. “Looking for silver linings in life can foster mental resilience and general optimism.”
“Seeking silver linings isn’t always possible, especially if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one or facing a personal crisis. Be compassionate with yourself, allow yourself time, and seek support.”
Cultivate Self-Awareness
Track your moods to better understand your needs for self-care each day.
Jessica Mostaffa, an early childhood mental health expert and therapist who assists mothers experiencing depression, emphasizes that this approach aids her clients in adopting a more mindful perspective toward their emotional health.
Create a Happiness List
Compile a list of activities that lift your spirits when you’re feeling drained. Your list might feature options like enjoying a warm shower, watching a comedy, gardening, or taking a walk with a friend.
“When mothers prioritize self-care, they often see a reduction in depressive symptoms, as well as an improvement in their relationships and interactions with their children, partners, and others in the household,” Mostaffa notes.
Encourage your children to create their own lists too. When they feel upset or angry, they can refer to their list to empower them to manage their emotions in a constructive manner. Activities could include shooting hoops, listening to music, drawing, reading, or contacting a trusted friend.
Reframe Negative Thoughts
Instead of ignoring cynical thoughts that arise, confront them.
Mostaffa recommends asking yourself grounding questions such as: “What evidence supports this thought?”; “What evidence contradicts this thought?”; “What’s the worst possible outcome?”; “What’s the best possible outcome?”; and “What’s the most likely outcome?”
Pay Attention to Your Words
Reflect on how you express your commitments to yourself and others. For example, rather than stating, “It’s my responsibility to ensure the kids complete their homework,” you could say, “It’s my privilege to help my children do what’s best for them.”
“These subtle language shifts can have significant impacts on our lives,” says Carla McClellan, an ACC-certified life coach.
Express Your Gratitude
Encourage positive thinking during family meals by inviting everyone to share three things they are grateful for, along with the reasons why. Bedtime can also be a reflective moment to consider the day.
“Daily affirmations can be potent,” Hensley observes. “These don’t always have to be monumental. A five-year-old might express gratitude for the cupcake received at school for a classmate’s birthday, as it brought her joy. The goal is to instill this way of thinking and help it become a natural part of daily life.”
Create a Vision Board
Visualize what your family hopes to achieve in the upcoming year. You can either create a collective vision board or individual ones. Gather old magazines, scissors, glue, and poster board to cut out inspirational words, quotes, and images.
Ask each other questions like: “What dreams do we have for the upcoming year?”; “What do we wish to see happen in our lives?”; “What would our ideal vacation entail?”
Set Intentions
Alongside your daily task list, compose a “to-be” list. Each morning, establish your intention by asking, “Who am I choosing to be today?”; Kind? Loving? Generous? Enthusiastic?
“An intention focuses our energy. When we declare who we want to be, we can embody that,” McClellan states.
Encourage Quiet Time
Spaces of quiet, unplugged moments foster creativity, problem-solving, and stress alleviation.
Wind down together as a family before bedtime. Activities like reading together, drawing, or watching a show offer children a chance to relax and share any worries, thoughts, or stories from the day.
Evaluate Positive and Negative Aspects
If your child is experiencing distress due to a situation at school or home, invite them to write a positive thought on one card and a negative thought on another.
“Let children know that experiencing negative thoughts and feelings is perfectly normal. The objective is not to let them dominate our lives,” says Dr. Kristen Hensley.
“Then you can discuss with your child the feelings and potential outcomes linked to each side of the card,” Hensley advises. “Remind children that it’s alright to have negative emotions; we just don’t want them to take control.”
Engage in Play
Experts agree that families who engage in play together foster stronger, happier connections. Whether it’s tossing a football, playing cards, dancing to lively music in your living room, or inventing games on a car trip, playtime reinforces your relationship.
Explore various activities to determine what resonates with your family. “Participating in these types of activities and rituals is crucial, as it models a positive attitude, encourages a healthy way of thinking and interacting with the world, and helps children comprehend the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors,” Hensley concludes.
Additional resources:
The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler
Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen
Simple Fun for Busy People: 333 Free Ways to Enjoy Your Loved Ones More in the Time You Have by Gary Krane, Ph.D.
“Inside Out” – animated Pixar movie that explores emotions
EDITOR’S NOTE: Depression is a serious illness. Consult your family physician if you or a loved one experiences persistent sadness, loss of appetite, inability to sleep, decreased energy level, or thoughts of suicide.
