By Susan Sugerman, MD, MPH | Contributor
Statistics from the 1980s highlight growing concerns regarding how children and teenagers perceive their body image. Our society often promotes unattainable standards of beauty and establishes narrow definitions of what is considered “normal” in terms of body shape and size.
What can a parent do?
While the internet and social media have benefits, their combination with “selfie culture” can lead to negative outcomes, especially regarding how individuals assess their bodies.
Recent research indicates that increased social media usage is linked to heightened body image dissatisfaction (Puglia, UNC-Chapel Hill). A separate study found that teens who spend more time selecting and editing photos for social media tend to feel worse about their bodies. This study revealed a shared struggle with body image among both boys and girls (Salomon and Brown, University of Kentucky). Given that teens seek acceptance and relevance, we shouldn’t be surprised by these trends in a predominantly virtual world.
A Developmental Perspective
I frequently emphasize that while children remain children across generations, the challenges they face today differ significantly from those of the past. Understanding the recent trends in body image and self-esteem requires a grasp of child and adolescent developmental stages.
In their toddler years, young children begin to understand their existence in relation to time and space. By age four, they start comparing themselves to others, primarily based on clothing and hairstyles. They learn narratives about beauty, such as the idea that the good princess is always attractive while the evil stepmother is always unattractive. By age five, children’s concerns about body size generally stem from a desire to grow bigger.
From around age six, children’s awareness of body image intensifies during their elementary school years. This awareness is shaped by parental influences and sociocultural aspects such as peers, toys, and media. By the end of elementary school, approximately 40% of girls and 25% of boys exhibit signs of body dissatisfaction and low self-esteem.
In one study, 60% of fourth-graders expressed a preference for being dead over being overweight.
As children enter pre-adolescence, they often experience heightened discomfort regarding their self-image. Early adolescence, roughly spanning fifth to seventh or eighth grades for girls and sixth to eighth or ninth for boys, involves a transition in focus from family to peers, although parental approval still plays a critical role in shaping their identity and values. Pre-teens assess their surroundings to find their place, noting that thin girls and athletic boys often gain more social status. Even before social media became widespread, 50% of girls reported significant dissatisfaction with their appearance in middle school.
Later in adolescence—late middle school to high school for girls and high school for boys—there’s an increased focus on peer relationships and a conscious distancing from parents as teens strive for independence. They often seek validation from friends while downplaying parental opinions. Influenced by societal norms that prioritize thinness and conventional beauty, they attempt to shape their identities to be more acceptable to their peers. As teens gain the ability to control their eating and exercise habits away from parental scrutiny, it leads to concerning behaviors; by high school, 70% of average-weight girls have dieted, viewing this as a normal practice.
Transitioning into late adolescence, including the college years and early adulthood, many young individuals find increased self-acceptance and return to embracing their parents’ values, whether consciously or unconsciously. They typically develop more confidence in their self-identity and gradually require less validation from external sources, reflecting on lessons learned from their families. However, some may retain lingering self-esteem issues. They recognize that attractive individuals tend to garner more attention on college campuses and, as young adults, become aware that studies consistently show attractive job applicants enjoy better chances of employment and higher salaries. Consequently, it is not surprising that at least 80% of women over 18 report dissatisfaction with their appearance.
What can a parent do?
Addressing these issues requires a comprehensive understanding of social media’s impact on children and adolescents. The accessibility of personal devices allows youth to see themselves through various lenses, profoundly influencing their self-perceptions.
I urge parents to approach the matter of granting children access to devices with the same caution reserved for allowing them to drive a car. Would you hand over the car keys without first providing instruction?
The challenge for parents lies in navigating this new terrain—an environment that we never had to manage ourselves as teenagers. Nonetheless, the fundamental experiences are similar, despite changes in the context.
Take the time to understand what your children are using (their devices) and familiarize yourself with their applications (apps). Learn the current language of social media platforms. Engage with them; have discussions about how things function, which images they admire, and what types of posts captivate them. Offer gentle corrections when they take missteps, as it may be difficult to intervene without being observant. Maintain access to their accounts (their passwords), but consider utilizing this access only in emergencies, whether it involves seeking support from others or protecting them from oversharing.
But what should come first? The foundational lessons (modeling). Many of us may feel unprepared for this, as our children effortlessly edit and share their pictures while we navigate outdated technology for family photos. Nevertheless, our children are constantly observing us, and it’s never too late to teach them. Allow them to see your social media presence. Share your past experiences to illustrate navigating today’s complexities. Use social media responsibly to model setting healthy boundaries and highlight instances when someone crosses inappropriate lines online. Particularly concerning body image, demonstrate your confidence by occasionally giving yourself positive affirmations (both online and face-to-face) and showcasing instances where you have challenged body-shaming behaviors on social media. Present an image of yourself online that you would want your children to emulate. Ultimately, your children are likely to grow into individuals resembling the values you embody.
Editor’s Note: Dr. Susan Sugerman is the president and co-founder of Girls to Women Health and Wellness. For more information, visit gtw-health.com.
