The Counseling Place Offers Mental Health Advice for Families at School Start

**LIFT Podcast Episode: Navigating Mental Health as Parents**

In a recent episode of LIFT, a parenting podcast series hosted by Rev. Kim Meyers at St. Andrew United Methodist Church, Deborah Dobbs and Beka Mullins from The Counseling Place shared valuable insights for parents facing the start of a difficult school year.

**How can parents monitor their children’s mental health when everything feels overwhelming?**

The Counseling Place: First, assess your own mental health as a parent. It’s crucial to acknowledge your own stress and anxiety levels. We can easily deceive ourselves into believing we are okay, but we may be feeling anxious, which can, in turn, amplify our children’s anxiety. Have open discussions with your children and don’t hesitate to communicate your feelings of anxiety. Be cautious not to inadvertently place the burden on them, making them feel responsible for your wellbeing. Emphasize a sense of safety and security by saying phrases like, “This is hard for all of us, but here’s how we will face it together.”

For younger children, ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective on the current circumstances. They are likely to share their thoughts. Engaging with them in activities like coloring or drawing can help them express their feelings. Make sure to listen to them attentively and reassure them when they convey their worries.

As children grow older, it often becomes more challenging to encourage them to share. When you ask, “How was your day?” you might hear, “fine.” However, older children often share more in the evenings. Be available to talk with them during that time. Monitor their social media interactions, especially messaging apps, and remind them that online posts are permanent. Many teens confide more in friends than in parents. At The Counseling Place, we are witnessing parents uncovering significant anxiety and suicidal thoughts through their children’s social media activities. Do not assume everything is okay; it’s important to check their privacy and review their online searches to identify any specific anxieties for relevant discussions.

**Mental health needs to be an ongoing conversation** so that children feel comfortable discussing concerns whenever they arise. When we mention mental health, society often interprets it as mental illness, which is incorrect. The focus should be on health, emphasizing its importance to our overall physical well-being.

The Counseling Place has observed many pre-conditions for trauma. Factors such as restricted movement, loss of safety, and disconnection contribute to our stress response, especially in light of the pandemic and the measures taken to combat it. The self-care strategies that might have sufficed before may no longer be effective. This is an unprecedented situation—parents can help mitigate some of these challenges. Being present with your children fosters a sense of connection and safety, allowing them to be honest. It’s vital to maintain a positive outlook and encourage your children’s capabilities. Assure them, “You can manage this. I’ve witnessed you overcome difficulties before. We will handle this together.”

Help your children develop self-awareness. Both parents and children can find solace in taking small actions that they can control in a seemingly chaotic world. Ask, “What can you control?” If they struggle to identify things, guide the conversation. They can control their breath, their faith, their sense of being loved, and their reactions to situations. Understand that norms can shift during extraordinary times and consider allowing for adjustments that you might typically oppose, such as reorganizing a bedroom or temporarily changing hair color.

**Address disappointments.** Recognizing and discussing disappointments allows children to process their feelings. Provide them with space to express their grief. Later, guide them toward gratitude and help them understand how to hold both grief and gratitude simultaneously. Posing questions like, “How do you feel about this? I know you were really looking forward to it being canceled. What are your thoughts? Although this isn’t happening now, we have this to look forward to…” can be helpful. Practicing gratitude daily is beneficial.

**Discuss constants in life.** Remind your children of the unconditional love from their parents, their identity as children of God, and the certainty that the sun will rise each day.

Understand that children exhibiting challenging behaviors are not merely being defiant or rebellious; there are underlying factors prompting that behavior.
**Grace and patience are essential.**

As we endeavor to love our neighbors as ourselves, remember that your family is your closest neighbor. We often hold higher expectations for those living under the same roof. Strive to be kind and demonstrate love toward your family members.

*Editor’s Note: This podcast can be accessed at https://liftparentingpodcast.buzzsprout.com/1210115/5066078-what-to-expect-mental-health-in-fall-of-2020. It is part of a new St. Andrew LIFT podcast series titled “What to Expect,” aimed at guiding parents through an unpredictable and unprecedented school year. Below is a summary of helpful tips shared during the podcast.*

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**ABOUT LIFT:**

LIFT: A Parenting Podcast, launched by St. Andrew United Methodist Church in August 2019 and available for free on Apple iTunes, is now in its third season, assisting parents in navigating the challenges of raising children of all ages in today’s world. The podcast covers everyday parenting topics like discipline, anxiety, college preparation, technology, substance use, and has tackled more complex subjects such as mass shootings, grief, suicide, COVID-19 challenges, and race by featuring insights from community leaders and experts. Subscribe at https://liftparentingpodcast.buzzsprout.com/.

**ABOUT DEBORAH DOBBS AND BEKA MULLINS:**

Deborah Dobbs has dedicated 24 years to The Counseling Place, serving as executive director for the last 11. Beka Mullins specializes in working with teens, with experience in inpatient facilities and group homes. She also teaches social and emotional learning skills to children and collaborates with pastors and others engaged with youth. Visit https://counselingplace.org.

**ABOUT THE COUNSELING PLACE (TCP):**

The Counseling Place (TCP), founded in 1979 as the first nonprofit mental health agency in Richardson, Texas, is committed to enhancing emotional health for individuals of all ages and income levels in the Dallas area. TCP offers professional and affordable (or free) counseling services for individuals, families, and couples, alongside psychoeducational community workshops and a victims’ assistance initiative through partnerships with the Richardson and Sachse Police Departments and referrals from other jurisdictions. TCP also collaborates with other nonprofits, such as Heart of Autism, to provide essential mental health services. **Call 469-283-0340 or visit https://counselingplace.org/**