By Deborah Walsh Dobbs, M.A. | Contributor
Last year, the film The Shawshank Redemption, adapted from Stephen King’s novella, experienced a resurgence. Though the story unfolds within the bleak confines of a prison, it frequently emphasizes themes of friendship and hope. Viewers observe how a handful of inmates not only cope with their circumstances but also find ways to infuse meaning into their lives at Shawshank Prison. For instance, Brooks nurtures a baby crow, feeding it maggots he finds among the prison meals. Meanwhile, Red is resourceful, sourcing cigarettes, posters, and nearly anything else a prisoner might desire from the outside world. Andy Dufresne successfully convinces the warden to establish a library. The year 2020 was favorable for the revival of The Shawshank Redemption.
While I wouldn’t equate our societal reaction to COVID-19 with imprisonment, it’s undeniable that we have had to adjust and have lost freedoms we once took for granted.
Despite the rollout of a vaccine, a clear conclusion to the situation remains elusive.
Throughout the lockdowns and stringent regulations, social media became saturated with posts showcasing new hobbies. Baking bread became particularly trendy. I personally acquired a banjo, which I still struggle to play. If you have a teenager, you might have observed them indulging in curious or unconventional activities over the past ten months, like frequently rearranging their room, experimenting with different color schemes or haircuts, or organizing closets and pantries. They may have become more attuned to their surroundings, creating a new atmosphere in their spaces with candles, incense, and soothing music. These actions were more than just distractions; they infused our lives with meaning. While the initial excitement might have diminished, the importance of creating meaning persists.
Adolescence is a period marked by the strengthening of independence and the reliance on friends more than parents.
The pandemic has disrupted a crucial developmental stage, denying many teens a typical experience of adolescence. Nevertheless, they still retain the freedom to choose what they will take away from these trying times. Creating meaning is not merely about looking on the bright side of a negative experience; it’s about deciding what you can and will derive from it. Furthermore, creating meaning is not synonymous with discovering one’s life purpose, as no pandemic bakers seem to have quit their jobs to open bread businesses. The process can manifest in various forms—some subtle, some grand, some expected, and others surprising. It may come through experimentation.
Everyone makes meaning differently, so it’s important to avoid imposing your ideas on someone else (including yourself).
Assignments or suggestions can serve as inspiration or plant a seed, but the process of creating meaning unfolds organically and naturally.
How can you assist your teen in making meaning?
If your child speaks openly with you, simply inquire about any new interests or thoughts they might have. You might also invite them to participate in a hobby or interest with you, even if just to spark a conversation. Understand that it’s normal for a teenager to decline such invitations, but it opens the door for discussing what they enjoy or wish to explore. If natural conversations aren’t forthcoming, pay attention to hints. If you notice your teen showing an interest in something, whether it be new or old, encourage it. Just be careful not to express too much enthusiasm, or you might inadvertently “ruin it” entirely! Many teens are fatigued from technology (thanks to online schooling) and are yearning for tangible experiences. A growing number have developed an interest in “old-school” activities such as vinyl records, jigsaw puzzles, and crafting friendship bracelets. You can introduce new ideas into their environment, such as board games, art supplies, paint-by-numbers kits, model airplane kits, sidewalk chalk, or sports equipment like basketballs or skateboards. Simply place the item in an easily visible spot and observe what happens. You may have a Brooks in your family who would cherish a bird feeder outside his window. Perhaps you have a Red who could manage the inventory in your pantry and take charge of grocery shopping (or creating the lists). If you have an Andy Dufresne, she might turn the books she has read during the pandemic into a piece of furniture.
The pandemic feels relentless, with its consequences ranging from profound loss to perpetual boredom. As parents, we might feel exhausted, frustrated, or helpless. We cannot fix things for our teens. We cannot give back what they have lost or missed out on. In terms of creating meaning from this turmoil, we cannot do it for them. However, we can provide our children with opportunities to discover how they will create meaning for themselves.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Deborah Walsh Dobbs is a sociologist with over 21 years of experience at The Counseling Place, a non-profit agency focused on enhancing emotional health for individuals of all ages. She earned her Bachelor’s degree from The University of Texas at Austin and her Master of Arts from the University of North Texas. Deborah is a self-proclaimed enthusiast of food, whiskey, and wine. She takes pride in being a mother, wife, non-profit leader, and writer. You can reach her at 469.283.0242 or counselingplace.org.
