By Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development | Contributor
With the increased use of social media among young people due to COVID-19, it’s crucial for parents to understand how their children engage on these platforms, the influencers affecting them, and how to manage family dynamics surrounding their online activity. Effective social media management can enhance adolescents’ social and emotional development while helping them steer clear of risks such as anxiety, depression, narcissism, and addiction. To assist parents in nurturing healthy relationships for their teens, both online and offline, Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development has gathered insights from leading experts in parenting, education, child psychology, and psychiatry, presenting the following ten valuable tips.
SOME SUPERVISION REQUIRED
Research indicates that teens and millennials primarily use social media on their devices, often accessing these apps first upon unlocking their phones. To establish safe social media habits, I propose three important guidelines: (1) children under 13 should only use social media while accompanied by a parent who is co-viewing; (2) preteens should have a maximum of one hour of supervised social media use daily, and parents should feel comfortable monitoring their behavior [NOTE: parents might consider allowing preteens to use social media through their phones initially]; (3) teenagers may be permitted 1-3 hours of daily social media use with clear limitations on timing (e.g., avoiding usage near bedtime) and should be supervised until parents are confident in their child’s safe behavior. Regardless of age, it is essential for parents to review social media activities weekly, discussing any negative behaviors they discover. – Larry D. Rosen, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Psychology, California State University, Dominguez Hills, and author of several books on technology psychology.
PAY ATTENTION
Parents must demonstrate what healthy screen time looks like. Rather than walking through the door after work and immediately getting back to devices, take a few minutes to connect with your child. In the mornings, wake up early to address emails so that you can give your kids your undivided attention before they leave. The small moments when parents are distracted by technology can weaken the parent-child relationship. – Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, Cambridge MA
MODEL CITIZENS
Adults can also fall into the trap of digital distractions or oversharing on social media. Teens are observant and often resentful of the inconsistency between what they hear adults say and what they see them do regarding technology. They often express frustration at parents’ habit of being glued to their phones or sharing images of them online without permission and share their irritation with adults blaming technology for all teenage issues. As role models, we must critically assess our behaviors to effectively guide young people. While work and life require screen usage, it’s crucial to present opportunities for detachment. – Emily Weinstein, Ed.D., and Carrie James, Ph.D., researchers at Harvard Project Zero.
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
It is common for parents to feel overwhelmed as they watch their children become absorbed in their devices, leading to disputes about screen time. Instead of escalating these conflicts, parents should strive to be allies for their children. Kids need trustworthy adults to support them through their online experiences. They are often keen to share their online discoveries with parents, so showing curiosity instead of judgment fosters open communication. This alliance enables parents to guide their children more effectively when necessary. Involvement can include asking open-ended questions about their online activities, playing games together, following them on social media without comment, and affirming that mistakes will not lead to punishment. Children should feel safe coming to their parents if they ever encounter uncomfortable situations online. – Julia A.G. Storm, MA, Digital Media Wellness Educator and founder of ReConnect.
DON’T JUST SCROLL, CONNECT
Some online interactions are healthier than others. For instance, texting or direct messaging on platforms like Instagram can encourage meaningful communication among friends. This type of interaction is more beneficial compared to passive scrolling, which usually does not foster genuine connections. Our research indicates that young people often experience digital stress related to social comparisons and feelings of exclusion. Thus, mindful and purposeful engagement with media, focusing on interactions with close friends, is paramount. – Professor Jeffrey Hall, Director of the Relationships and Technology Lab, and Professor Ric Steele, Director of the Clinical Child Psychology Program at the University of Kansas.
SET BOUNDARIES
Create technology-free spaces and times at home. As a family, establish a responsible use agreement to safeguard family interactions and offline activities, such as no screens during meals or while engaging in family game nights or walks. Particularly for young children, car rides can be valuable no-phone bonding opportunities. Reducing screen time not only counters the tech-saturated environment but also strengthens bonds and gives kids a sense of security. Parents should be attentive and put away their devices when their children seek their attention. When kids look to the internet for guidance, they may encounter information that does not align with family values or is unsuitable for their developmental stage. – Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, Cambridge MA
A LITTLE MEANS A LOT
Parents often feel overwhelmed trying to balance healthy social media use with protecting their children from online pitfalls. However, small adjustments in managing their children’s screen time can lead to significant changes. I suggest parents consider practices like restricting social media use before bedtime, which can greatly influence sleep quality. Engaging in daily conversations with teens about their online interactions is another effective strategy. Parents should also lead by example, such as keeping their phones away during nights. Helping teens navigate online conflicts mirrors how we support them through in-person issues. Additionally, encouraging emotional awareness of online interactions can normalize discussions about feelings and facilitate open communication with parents. – Sarah E. Domoff, PhD, licensed psychologist and Associate Professor at Central Michigan University.
WHEN IN DOUBT, UNPLUG
In times of change, many of us instinctively reach for screens to unwind. It is essential to break this habit. Digital devices should be seen as tools that can be used wisely or imprudently. Just as we have age restrictions for activities like driving, similar criteria apply to online interactions. Consider age recommendations for media and apply the 13-year guideline for social media use. This downtime can also be an opportunity to encourage children to cultivate offline hobbies and interests. Activities, such as playing a musical instrument, cooking, or participating in a book club, can be equally enjoyable online and offline. Such habits will not only help families cope with current challenges but also foster healthier digital habits long-term. – Gwenn Schurgin O’Keeffe, MD, JD, CEO of Pediatrics Now.
BALANCING ACT
More adolescents are grappling with mental health issues than ever before. Our findings show that teens dealing with challenges like anxiety, body image concerns, or depression might require additional guidance regarding social media use. It’s crucial to help them harness the positive aspects of social media, such as connection, while minimizing risks like disrupted sleep. Encourage teens to reflect on how social media affects their mood and vice versa. As parents, your insights into your child’s strengths and vulnerabilities are key. Aim for an approach that combines warm conversations (e.g., “How did that post make you feel?”) with structured limits (e.g., prohibiting phone use in bedrooms) to support their mental well-being. – Jacqueline Nesi, Ph.D., Postdoctoral Fellow at Brown University; Jessica L. Hamilton, Ph.D., Postdoctoral Scholar, University of Pittsburgh; Sophia Choukas-Bradley, Ph.D., Assistant Professor at the University of Delaware.
FACE TIME OVER FACETIME
Teens spend considerable time glued to their phones after school, engaging in various online activities. Before social media, teenagers interacted face-to-face or via phone calls, developing social skills through real-time experiences. This loss of in-person interaction underscores the importance of encouraging teens to disconnect from their devices and engage in face-to-face conversations while maintaining health and safety precautions during the pandemic. – Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, Cambridge MA
When used thoughtfully and in moderation, social media can be a beneficial means of connecting with friends and family, regardless of distance. However, without proper supervision and guidance, social media can also introduce significant mental, emotional, and ethical challenges for young people. Parents have a crucial role in setting examples and closely monitoring their children’s online activities, and these ten expert tips aim to make this complex landscape more navigable for families.
About Children and Screens:
Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development is a 501C(3) national nonprofit organization established by Dr. Pamela Hurst-Della Pietra. Its mission is to promote scientific research, enhance expertise in the field, inform the public, and advocate for sound policies related to child health and wellness.
For more information, visit https://www.childrenandscreens.com/
Editor’s Note: All information provided in this document is based on the expertise of Children and Screens and does not imply endorsement by GLF or its editorial team.
