By Jeff Anderson | Contributor
Some individuals begin the process of divorce by consulting a lawyer, paying a retainer fee, and signing a contract to initiate proceedings. Others might first talk to an attorney and then return home to compile all the essential documents needed for the divorce. If you have a feeling that your spouse may be planning for a divorce, here are some signs to watch for.
Children
Imagine a scenario where you and your spouse have consistently shared all parenting duties—Dad takes the kids to soccer, while Mom handles dance practice. Dad assists with homework occasionally, and so does Mom.
Then, seemingly out of nowhere, there’s a change in duties. One parent suddenly starts managing everything—transporting the children everywhere, scheduling doctor appointments, arranging play dates, preparing meals, and putting them to bed. This results in a shift where it appears one parent is doing the majority of the parenting. After a few months, this established routine becomes hard to overlook.
This situation also extends to other facets of the children’s lives. For instance, Mom’s family may gradually become less involved as Dad’s family takes precedence. Dad signs the children up for activities—a role he might not have taken before. He might also initiate a savings account for the kids, contributing significant funds into it.
Another sign could be if the children begin seeing a counselor for the first time. If a spouse is strategizing for a divorce and is already thinking about trial proceedings, therapists can serve as valuable witnesses. If they are deemed experts, counselors may provide testimony regarding your children and relay information that could be uncomfortable for you, especially if the children were influenced by the other parent before their sessions.
Finance
A noticeable indicator that your spouse could be contemplating divorce may appear in your financial accounts.
If you notice a consistent decline in your finances despite unchanged job statuses and stable expenses, it could suggest that your spouse is secretly diverting funds into a separate account. More directly, if your spouse has opened a new account and is placing funds there that you cannot access, they may be preparing for a divorce. Having a financial cushion is crucial when hiring an attorney and commencing a new independent life.
This situation can often involve one spouse ensuring they have adequate funds while simultaneously trying to limit the other spouse’s financial resources. Watch for signs such as the establishment of a P.O. Box, new credit cards with elevated limits, or the cancellation of joint credit cards. If your spouse is meticulously organizing monthly bills and financial statements, it might be an indication that they have received legal advice.
Other Indicators
If your spouse has recently begun journaling or you notice them documenting more (via audio, video, or photographs), they might have been advised to do so.
If your spouse’s social media updates have taken on a different tone, it might suggest they are anticipating issues. For instance, if their posts adopt a more positive outlook, it may be worthwhile to check if they have deleted older posts that they might not want scrutinized by a judge.
Have they altered passwords or become more secretive with their devices? Are they using legal terms such as “best interest,” “community property,” or “no-fault” more frequently?
These signs could indicate that your spouse has consulted a divorce attorney. You might want to consider reaching out to a certified family law attorney to explore your available options and determine the most appropriate course of action.
Editor’s Note: Jeff Anderson is a partner in the Family Law boutique Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP. To schedule a consultation, call 972.963.5459 or visit www.ondafamilylaw.com.
