As you stand on the brink of a new year, overshadowed by feelings of loss and anger stemming from your divorce, you may find it difficult to wear a brave face for your children, all while asking yourself how you can find happiness when your heart remains shattered.
by William M. Reppeto, III, Family Law Expert | Contributor
“Ultimately, happiness is derived from achieving clarity and integrity within your heart, which only comes through acceptance.” – Will Reppeto
When you entered into marriage, you committed to one another as lifelong partners. When that bond unexpectedly unravels, it’s essential to navigate through all five stages of grief that inevitably follow: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Languishing in any single stage can hinder your ability to move forward and embrace what lies ahead.
To restore your emotional stability and reclaim the joy that feels distant, the pivotal stage is acceptance. After all, genuine happiness is rooted in having clarity and integrity within your heart, which arises from acceptance.
I want to share an essential aspect of healing from divorce. One of the most challenging yet necessary steps is recognizing your part in the breakdown of the relationship.
While it may feel comforting to identify as the injured party, reality dictates that no one is solely a victim in a divorce.
You might have endeavored relentlessly to salvage the marriage, yet confronting your involvement in the separation requires a fearless examination of yourself. For some, this may come through prayer and self-reflection, while for others, it might require deep discussions with trusted individuals, whether that be clergy, a lifelong friend, an AA sponsor, a therapist, or anyone you feel safe enough to share your innermost fears and pain with.
Failing to acknowledge and account for one’s mistakes and shortcomings can perpetuate a cycle of despair. Initially, you may deprive yourself of happiness, but over time, the resulting anger and blame can negatively affect your children and other cherished ones.
Ultimately, achieving lasting happiness in the coming year hinges on addressing your own shortcomings. This process, though challenging and emotionally intense, can lead to the profound acceptance that will enable you to open your heart once again to love and the wonders it can bring.
Editor’s Note: William M. Reppeto III is a partner at the family law firm Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP, where he compassionately advocates for clients navigating divorce and child-related issues. He can be reached at will@ondafamilylaw.com. For further details, visit ondafamilylaw.com.
