By Professor Jeff Willie | Contributor
Impact of COVID-19 and Racial Unrest on Family Stress
Since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, and now amidst the resurgence of racial unrest in our nation—often viewed as a pandemic in its own right due to its worldwide relevance—we have witnessed increased stress levels within households. The abrupt shift to a series of continuous virtual meetings posed significant challenges, particularly for those unaccustomed to a remote work setting. The relentless online engagement, combining both audio and visual demands, can heighten stress and potentially lead to burnout if not effectively managed. On top of this, many adults grappled with the added responsibility of ensuring that their school-aged children stay on track with their education from home, which required a considerable investment of time and focus during standard working hours, all while trying to comprehend our country’s racial divide.
Challenges Faced by Children During This Time
This period has been especially challenging for our children, who are deprived of their friends, social gatherings, milestones like proms and graduations, and are navigating tough conversations that may be controversial or divisive with family and peers. Even with our best efforts to create a consistent routine and structure, while still granting our children options and flexibility to connect with friends, the manifestations of stress are evident.
Utilizing DISC Assessments to Understand and Manage Stress
A DISC assessment serves as a valuable instrument for parents seeking to identify stress-related characteristics in their children, as well as traits that can help minimize that stress. It provides insights into their strengths, communication styles, learning preferences, and responses to conflict and stress, guiding strategies for improving interactions. In my “Family Stressed to Family Best” seminars, I help parents recognize behavior patterns in their children, highlighting strengths, signs of stress, motivating factors, and even ways to connect with their children through affirming statements that highlight their unique gifts.
Addressing “D” Dominance Characteristics
If your child exhibits traits of leadership, decisiveness, and goal-orientation, classified as “D” for Dominance in the DISC assessment, stress may reveal itself through resistance, strong-willed behavior, rebellion, anger, and controlling tendencies. They are expressing their giftedness, albeit negatively. As adults—whether as parents, educators, or mentors—our approach should focus on positively acknowledging their strengths. It’s essential not to dismiss their feelings; rather, we should listen with empathy, helping them articulate and comprehend the reasons behind their emotions.
When encountering your child’s stressed “D” characteristics, respond with affirmations that honor their gifts, such as:
- I appreciate your confidence.
- I admire that you pursue your goals diligently.
- I recognize your commitment and decisiveness.
Understanding “I” Influential Characteristics
For children characterized by “I” or Influential traits, who are outgoing, emotional, and inspirational, stress might manifest as hyperactivity, impatience, loudness, or excessive emotional outbursts. These children thrive on social interaction and humor. When they face stress, it’s crucial to allow them a space to express themselves socially while honoring their unique qualities. Appropriate responses might include:
- I enjoy spending time with you; you bring fun into our lives.
- I appreciate your friendly nature.
- I love your contagious enthusiasm.
Recognizing “S” Steadiness Characteristics
Children with “S” characteristics—those known for being dependable, detail-oriented, and supportive—may struggle with increased stress, leading to reduced motivation, indecisiveness, and avoidance of responsibilities. They may seek relationships with stronger personalities, which can include negative influences. To motivate them, emphasize their value in assisting others and boost their confidence, connecting them with their strengths through affirmations:
- I appreciate your caring attitude.
- I admire your ability to get along with others.
- I recognize your compassion.
Interpreting “C” Cautious Characteristics
Children who fall under the “C” category—those who are thorough, detail-oriented, and analytical—may react to stress by becoming critical, withdrawn, or overly cautious. Engaging them in research and analysis can help them channel their feelings positively. Responses should aim to recognize their careful nature, such as:
- I appreciate your commitment to excellence.
- I value your organizational skills.
- I admire how attentively you listen to others.
Confronting Change and Stressors in Current Times
Navigating the swift changes brought about by COVID-19—such as unconventional learning arrangements and the loss of social events—presents challenges that are undeniably tough. Leveraging the DISC assessment can provide insights to tackle these added pressures in your household and support your child effectively.
Editor’s Note: Jeff Willie is the CEO/Founder of Jeff Willie Leadership. Visit his website at jeffwillie.com to access the Student Success Report, which profiles your child’s strengths, personality styles, ideal environment, fears, motivators, learning styles, and much more. There is even a section of the report to share with teachers. For inquiries on booking a free “Family Stressed to Family Best” seminar for your church, school, or community organization, contact jeff@jeffwillie.com.
ABOUT JEFF WILLIE:
Jeff Willie is the CEO/Founder of Jeff Willie Leadership and Executive Director of The John Maxwell Team. He is a keynote/motivational speaker, and is certified to consult, facilitate, train, and coach individuals and groups in the areas of leadership development, professional skills, career growth, and personal growth.
He grew up in East Texas in a home with 11 siblings and without electricity, running water, indoor plumbing, television, or a telephone. His father was illiterate and his mother completed the third grade. Mr. Willie attended segregated schools until the seventh grade, graduated high school in May 1976, and served in the U.S. Air Force from 1977 until 2002.
Currently, he is an Associate Professor, a High School Air Force Junior ROTC Teacher, and a tenured Conflict Mediator/Family Mediator. He is a Certified Arkansas Law Enforcement Instructor in Rapid Response Special Weapons & Tactics (SWAT), an Honorary Colonel of Arkansas State Police, and an Honorary Member of Arkansas Highway Police.
He earned three Associate Degrees from the Community College of the Air Force, a Bachelor’s in Corporate Training and Development, a Master’s in Organizational and Human Resources Development, and a Graduate Certificate in Conflict Mediation from Abilene Christian University.
He is pursuing his doctorate in Educational Leadership, focusing on socio-economic resiliency factors, risk factors, protective factors, and shared factors to achieve high academic success among students of color. He and his wife, Pat, are proud parents of Katrina (a pediatrician) and Ursurla (an attorney).
Mr. Willie received Good Life Family’s VIP (Very Inspiring Parent) Award in March 2018. Click here to read more.
