Crafting an Effective Résumé

By: Susan Sugerman, Adolescent Medicine Physician | Contributor

A quick internet search regarding résumés revealed an entry from the College Board, which provides guidance and resources for students applying to colleges and universities in the United States:

What is a résumé?

A résumé is a document that summarizes your skills, experiences, and achievements to allow a potential employer to quickly assess your suitability for a position. Before applying for jobs or internships, writing a résumé is essential. Even if you’re entering the workforce for the first time, a strong résumé can help distinguish you from other candidates.

https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/explore-careers/careers/how-to-create-your-résumé

Today, there is immense pressure on students to create a résumé showcasing excellent grades in challenging classes, achievements in various extracurricular activities and leadership roles, along with extensive volunteer experiences. Consequently, a well-prepared résumé makes these students appear ready to enter universities or jobs where they can continue their trajectory of success. Students are often led to believe they must demonstrate that they can excel at everything, all at once.

While I commend those few individuals who can maintain this pace over time, most adults understand that “you can’t have it all” — at least not simultaneously. Yet, we permit our children to push themselves toward academic and extracurricular accomplishments, sometimes harming their mental and physical well-being in the process. Although this may afford them opportunities at prestigious institutions or positions, often they find themselves compelled to keep up this rigorous pace to the point of mental or physical illness just to maintain their standing.

Stereotypes exist for a reason. From middle school onward, children are pressured to achieve high GPAs and accumulate volunteer hours to gain admission to “the best” colleges. It’s crucial to recognize that while these credentials may help open the initial doors for college or job interviews, they won’t guarantee lasting success. Students must confront the reality that getting into a reputable school, internship, or job isn’t merely a reward for their hard work; it is a commitment to sustaining that level of effort.

Encourage kids to cultivate a different kind of résumé. Assist them in crafting a narrative that represents who they are, rather than simply listing their accomplishments. Guide them toward experiences that align with their values, rather than merely aiming for a collection of volunteering hours. A quality résumé, focused on depth rather than breadth, can demonstrate an individual’s capabilities during difficult times when needs are urgent: Participating in the annual school play illustrates teamwork in creating something larger than oneself, even if they didn’t secure the role they wanted; dedicating time to a cause dear to their family speaks to their values; committing to early morning practices highlights a consistent work ethic and loyalty to a team, even if they’re not in the spotlight; showing improvement in GPA from one year to the next reflects the ability to reorganize priorities when something truly matters.

Childhood is meant for exploration, even if it makes adults uneasy. It’s beneficial for parents to allow their children the chance to explore their interests, regardless of perceived difficulties or whether they might excel. It serves children poorly when we only guide them toward paths we know they will succeed on. Allowing children the freedom to experiment with new skills, tackle unfamiliar roles, or engage with diverse peers encourages healthy risk-taking. How will they know if they enjoy rock climbing or fencing unless they try? Perhaps the Naval Sea Cadets provide leadership experiences that are harder to navigate in a large public high school. Support the journey, not just the outcome. Children learn through the trials of new ventures, irrespective of success.

Help them discover their own passions instead of pursuing those that merely appear impressive on paper. Encourage your children to challenge themselves, but give them the space to decide where and how they want to push themselves. Your own childhood has passed; allow them to find theirs. Let their interests drive their motivation from within, rather than parents pressing from the outside. If their passions are genuine, their efforts will shine. If they require prodding from parents, it likely stems from our aspirations rather than theirs. When children pursue what they love, they embrace diligent work. They naturally become leaders, striving to achieve goals that matter to them. They learn collaboration and community when they realize they need others’ participation to succeed. They develop coping and problem-solving skills when challenges arise and it falls to them to address them.

Change the conversation – prioritize balance over brilliance. Is the objective to reach the pinnacle of success only to feel obliged to maintain that pace indefinitely? Most adults recognize that this form of success is an illusion. We’ve learned that real success revolves around the quality of our daily lives, our relationships, and meaningful pursuits. Initiate discussions with your children about the kind of LIFE they envision for themselves as adults. Ask them to imagine the activities they see themselves engaged in, professionally or otherwise. Do they thrive in group settings or prefer independent tasks? How many hours a day do they envision working? Do they wish to travel? Do they see themselves having children? Will they engage with their communities? How important is “down time” to them? How can they ensure sufficient time for their physical and emotional health, alongside their crucial relationships?

Encourage kids to rethink what defines success. Set aside the statistics regarding the “best” schools or top firms. Suggest they conduct their own real-life research. Have them “interview” successful adults they admire. This could be their dentist, a favorite teacher, or a neighbor. What journeys did these individuals take to reach their current positions? What educational avenues did they pursue? What events or experiences were pivotal in shaping their lives? What fond memories do they have from their childhood and adolescence? From what missteps have they gleaned the most knowledge? What would they approach differently if given a second chance? Such conversations serve multiple purposes. They provide young people with insight into the realities of growing up by highlighting what truly matters over the long term. Furthermore, these discussions foster connections with supportive adults who can mentor and guide children as they navigate challenges, serving as resources when young people feel “stuck.”

Let them experience failure. Their setbacks may emerge as some of the most significant aspects of their résumé. Consider this: No one writes a book about an easy life. Rather, we find inspiration in individuals who surmount obstacles and grow through challenges. The difficulties we encounter shape our identities. Thus, failure is an integral part of maturing into adulthood. It offers valuable lessons in processing rejection, discovering the resilience to recover, and learning how to approach situations differently in the future. Although failure may not seem glamorous, our ability to bounce back reflects true grit and perseverance, essential for achieving success in school or the workplace. Exhibiting the capacity to problem-solve following a setback reveals our capabilities during challenging times, not just in circumstances where success is easy to come by. Encourage children to embrace their failures, discussing a tough semester due to external stresses, while also articulating their recovery strategies and preventive measures for the future. Instill in them the importance of being forthright about their missteps and limitations while taking pride in their strengths and resilience. Though our failures may influence our paths, it is our ability to recover that ultimately defines our futures.

Model integrity and diligence, but also balance, in daily life. Children often emulate their parents, whether they wish to or not. By striving to be the best adults you can be (not solely the best parents), you set a benchmark for your child to aspire to, even if it occurs later. Regardless of whether your child follows in your professional footsteps or carves a distinct path, they will learn about work ethic, problem-solving, perseverance, and coping from observing you. They will notice how you prioritize family, work, community engagement, and self-care. Subsequently, they will create their own standards based on what they observe and experience. When will we, as adults, muster the courage to find balance in our lives? The sooner we demonstrate to our children that we adhere to our own values, the sooner they will recognize that it is acceptable for them to pursue theirs.

GOOD LIFE FAMILY IS NOW ACCEPTING “GOOD KIDS” NOMINATIONS!

In the spirit of recognizing the “ordinary” child who may not excel as a star athlete or among the top 10% in their class but is nonetheless doing something exceptionally valuable, GLF is now accepting nominations for GOOD KIDS, ages 12 to 21.

For complete details and to submit a nomination, visit http://goodlifefamilymag.com/submissions/.

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