By Dan Dunkin | Contributor
Children require love and attention from their parents, but managing multiple children can sometimes make it difficult for parents to distribute that love evenly.
This imbalance often arises when siblings exhibit stark differences in their talents and personalities. Jennifer Lynch, an educator, child advocate, and author of the children’s book Livi and Grace, emphasizes the significance of providing equal attention to all children to ensure their happiness, starting with parents recognizing their individual uniqueness.
“Children are unique, unknown little people waiting to be revealed,” Lynch states. “Parents need to reflect on how they can embrace these differences, making each child feel their beautiful uniqueness.”
“Allow the mystery of who they are and who they are meant to become to unfold authentically, whether it’s impressive or unusual. Everyone is different, and it’s crucial to make every child feel special, valued, and loved.”
Quality One-on-One Time
Regularly setting aside time for one-on-one interactions is essential, Lynch suggests, as it demonstrates to children that they are valued. “This means no smartphones or distractions; be fully present with your child,” Lynch advises. “Establish eye contact, ask questions, actively listen, and let them guide the activity or interaction. This approach fosters a sense of safety, control, and love.”
Celebrate Their Uniqueness
An uneven distribution of parental attention can lead siblings to compare themselves to one another, which is detrimental and can foster jealousy and low self-esteem while heightening sibling rivalry. Additionally, children may perceive that one sibling is favored over another. “Susie might be faster than Johnny, but Johnny could be an exceptional chess player,” Lynch points out. “If they start comparing themselves, redirect the conversation to emphasize how wonderful it is that each of them has their own unique strengths. Provide more examples illustrating the beauty and importance of their differences, and create situations that highlight how these variations are beneficial.”
Show Your Love for Them
“Your love for your children is clear, so don’t hesitate to express it,” Lynch recommends. “Give them genuine praise or gentle, graceful guidance and encouragement when they need to improve, whether it’s dealing with poor behavior or simply losing a game. Avoid shaming them.”
Validate Them but Be Authentic
When it comes to giving praise, Lynch insists it’s quality that matters more than quantity. “Children can easily detect insincere compliments,” she observes. “They understand whether or not you genuinely see them; they can tell if your praise is heartfelt or just superficial.”
“Demonstrating appreciation for each child’s individuality will foster their self-confidence,” Lynch asserts. “They will learn from your example and begin to discover other remarkable qualities within themselves. Ensuring that each of your distinct children feels truly loved and valued will contribute to their development into happy, responsible adults.”
Editor’s Note: Jennifer Lynch is an educator and child advocate. She is also a children’s author; visit her website at www.jenniferlynchbooks.com.
