Embarking on Your New Journey
by Kristin Cicciarelli | Contributor
Congratulations! Your child is ready to venture out on their own. Whether they are heading to college, starting a new job, or entering a serious relationship, it’s time to give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back for a significant parenting achievement. So why are you not in a celebratory mood? Why do you find yourself constantly checking your phone, waiting for a call or text from them?
The term “empty nest syndrome” is widely recognized, but many do not understand that it can also bring about a deep sense of sorrow. This feeling is often compounded by other major life changes such as menopause, retirement, and the responsibility of caring for aging parents. A child leaving home triggers feelings of loss and uncertainty, representing a big shift in life that might require some time to come to terms with. Transitioning from being a full-time parent back to an independent individual can take patience and effort.
Both men and women can experience empty nest syndrome, but women often feel it more intensely, likely due to the strong nurturing roles that many mothers adopt. Suzanne Feiler, a therapist who specializes in women’s issues at Insights Collaborative Therapy Group in Dallas, emphasizes the importance of intentionally framing this new chapter of life. “It’s crucial for the empty nester to consciously choose how to perceive and enjoy this significant new phase in their story. Giving yourself the gift of a positive outlook is a powerful reward after completing the challenging task of parenting for eighteen years,” Feiler states. She also notes that it’s a mother’s time to shift the nurturing focus back to herself after dedicating years to someone else’s care.
Reconnect with Your Partner
If you are in a marriage or long-term partnership, this is an ideal opportunity to rekindle your relationship with your partner. Celebrate this transition with something festive or a special event. Mary Sanger, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Insights, suggests several strategies for couples facing empty nest syndrome. “Create plans for future fun, such as weekend getaways, or start a dinner or book club with other empty nest couples,” she advises. “Explore both old and new activities to enjoy together. If you’re contemplating downsizing—something many empty nesters consider—take care not to rush into such a significant change. Too much change within a short period can lead to psychological stress.”
Nurture Your Emotions
It’s important to recognize your feelings of grief. Celebrate your achievements as a parent. Be kind to yourself during this transition, and seek support by discussing your emotions with your partner, a close friend, or a therapist.
