Who is unfamiliar with what I’m referring to?
Who has never ventured away from home, who has never taken a risk?
To chase a dream and carve out their own existence?
A spot in the sky, a solid ground to stand on.
She requires vast open areas.
Space to make her significant mistakes.
She seeks new faces.
She is aware of the high stakes…
by Melissa Chaiken | Section Editor
The lyrics from this Dixie Chicks song have a profound impact on me and often bring tears to my eyes. I visualize the moment when my oldest child departs for college – not a pretty picture at all! I’m convinced I will be an emotional wreck, and I’m aware that isn’t the ideal way to support my child as they embark on a new journey.
For countless first-year college students, this marks one of the most significant transitions of their lives. It’s essential for us, as parents, to focus on their experience and not our own fears about letting go. Each year, millions of kids head off to college, and many not only survive but thrive! With a bit of patience, self-control, and maybe a splash of vodka, you can manage your child’s departure from home.
Harlan Cohen, bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Encounter in College. (Order it for your soon-to-be college student!) has also penned The Naked Roommate: For Parents Only, A Parent’s Guide to the New College Experience. He describes us as “new college parents,” highlighting how technology and social media have transformed our experience during our child’s time in college. Parents today are more connected, equipped with more information, and likely to witness, in real-time, the ups and downs of their college students’ lives. For instance, a parent can now see a live video of a messy roommate’s dirty clothes on their child’s bed! Cohen notes that never before have students and parents had such instant, unlimited, and affordable access to each other. While this is positive, it requires negotiation over how much contact is comfortable and suitable for each relationship. It’s best to establish these boundaries upfront to avoid hurt feelings.
Cohen suggests you might be calling too often if…
– You’re calling each morning to offer a wake-up call.
– You contact an instructor to report your child is sick and unable to attend class (chances are, your child can send an email from their phone!).
– You call nightly to check if your child is doing their homework and not partying too late.
– You reach out the moment you seek tech support, directions, or assistance locating something that’s missing at home.
You may be visiting too frequently if…
– Your kid’s friends have given you a nickname.
– You have a “regular” spot at a campus bar.
– You can recall the daily special at the college cafeteria from memory.
Cohen’s book offers valuable insights into this transition period. He discusses a range of topics such as packing, roommates, handling finances, social media safety, homesickness, substance use, health, relationships, body image (including the myth of the “Freshman Fifteen”), and dealing with hometown partners attending different colleges.
While you’re at it, consider getting a copy of Cohen’s The Naked Roommate’s First Year Survival Workbook for your child. It includes exercises that help students navigate challenges before they escalate. Devote some evenings this summer to have dinner with your child and discuss these subjects to kick off their first year of college on the right foot!
