Capturing our lives for our children allows us to contemplate our own sense of equilibrium, and it sheds light on our aspirations for the future as well as our reflections on the past.
by Colin Smith | Contributor
There’s a memorable quote from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off that has stayed with me: “Life moves pretty quickly. If you don’t stop and take a look around once in a while, you could miss it.” As time passes, the pace of life seems to accelerate, and even with all the advancements in technology, we find ourselves with less free time than ever—resulting in a greater imbalance in our society. Occasionally, we need to reset, and I take joy in assisting others in doing just that.
When a new client reaches out to me, I provide them with forms and questionnaires—not the kind you encounter at a doctor’s office, but queries focused on their personal life. The idea is that if a person invests the time to fill them out, their children and loved ones can read these insights to learn and reminisce about aspects of their life that they may not have been aware of.
In simple terms: if a person neglects to engage in this kind of reflection while crafting an estate plan, then when will they? Estate planning has various objectives, most of which are financial. However, money can be ephemeral. The continuous lessons from experiences, memories, and connections with loved ones hold far more enduring and significant value.
These extensive forms and questionnaires assist in multiple ways. Firstly, young heirs who are set to inherit a considerable amount may lack familiarity with the family history or its members. They could encounter someone claiming to be a distant relative with no rightful connection. Without a documented family tree or history, discerning what’s real from what’s fabricated becomes challenging.
Secondly, they provide closure. If your estate designates a particular heirloom to one child but not the other, the latter may feel overlooked. By clarifying the reasoning behind such decisions, the children may find understanding. (Once a certain point is reached, they cannot revisit the past to ask why.)
Your family will also gain a deeper understanding of you. They’ll learn not just about your profession, but also about the obstacles you overcame, your hobbies, and the experiences you cherished. Sometimes, it’s simpler to articulate these aspects in writing than to explain them verbally, and this format offers that opportunity.
Additionally, the completed forms lend perspective. If you lost a grandparent during your twenties, you might later ponder what they experienced when they were in their forties or fifties. Having these forms can resemble accessing someone’s personal journal.
Most importantly, you provide yourself with a chance to reflect. Children eventually grow up and leave home (hopefully). To maintain balance after their departure, we need to find ways to fill that void. Reflecting on our past accomplishments may bring clarity to what we haven’t had the opportunity to pursue and unveil new possibilities. So… if life feels like it’s speeding by, it might be time to skip work and catch a baseball game. Just make sure you’re ready to appear on the big screen like Ferris Bueller!
Contact Colin Smith at colinsmithlaw.com.
