by Dr. Melanie Ross Mills | Contributor
A few years back, I facilitated a discussion group focused on the theme of contentment. During this session, one participant, whom I’ll call “Beth,” raised an unforgettable question that struck a chord with me. With palpable emotion, she exclaimed, “I want to lose weight, but you’re urging me to be content?” I gently responded, “Being content is a genuine gift, but it’s not the same as being complacent.” Beth paused thoughtfully, and then her expression softened as she realized, “My complacency is what’s gotten me to this point.”
We continued our dialogue as a group, exploring ways to instigate positive changes in our lives, recognizing potential obstacles, and emphasizing the importance of taking actionable steps to achieve our ambitions. I wrapped up our conversation by observing, “A discontented person can either feel driven or feel like they’re stuck. Their discontent can motivate them toward their goals or it can immobilize them, trapping them in negativity. In contrast, a contented individual—who is not complacent—enjoys peace, gratitude, and recognizes their progress, while feeling secure enough to chase their dreams. That is the beauty of contentment.”
We all possess personal motivations for aspiring to create change, pursue meaningful goals, and experience growth. To facilitate these transformations, it’s crucial to develop a strategic plan. This personalized game plan outlines a vision for the future and identifies the steps needed to reach it. Whether your goal is to alter a habit, establish a non-profit, shed pounds, obtain a degree, or simply be more approachable, achieving your objectives is attainable with a thoughtful plan.
Step 1: Craft a Personal Goal Statement
Journal:
Begin by acquiring a journal to capture your thoughts. Document your genuine feelings about the changes you wish to see in your life without holding back.
Personal Goal Statement:
Your “why” will help you develop your personal goal statement by illuminating the motivation behind your pursuits.
Reflect on these questions: Why do I want to achieve this goal? What does this plan mean to me? What difficult decisions am I prepared to make in order to attain this goal?
Your “why” will serve as your motivator and steady anchor, providing enough incentive for you to remain committed to your tasks.
Formulate your personal goal statement: For instance, “I will lose 25 pounds/quit smoking/drink less alcohol because I want to be healthy for my children and exemplify self-discipline and self-control for them.” Alternatively, “I’ll nurture a healthier marriage and parent with gratitude rather than worry. I’ll enact small, necessary changes day by day.”
Step 2: Identify Your Roadblocks
Dedicate time to journal about past experiences that have hindered you from taking risks, pursuing your aspirations or goals, or that have left you feeling stuck. Examine past hurts, fears, habits, unhealthy cycles, erroneous beliefs about yourself, lack of support, relationship issues, or other factors that might obstruct your path.
Step 3: Adopt a Realistic Perspective
Reevaluate your personal goal statement and identified obstacles from a more analytical standpoint. Strip away any emotional bias involved.
Consider these questions: Is my goal long-term or short-term? How reasonable are my expectations? Am I capable of overcoming the roadblocks I’ve identified? If not, what strategies will I need to implement? Will this involve forgiving myself for past mistakes and letting go of guilt or resentment? Are there unfinished matters that must be resolved before I can proceed? How will I track my progress? Daily? Weekly? Annually?
Step 4: Process Walkthrough
Prepare thoroughly, from beginning to end. Allow time for meditation, envisioning, and visualization. Listen to inspirational music, read books that align with your objectives, and speak with individuals who have successfully navigated similar paths. Absorb it all and take a moment to reflect. Some individuals find value in creating vision boards, while others keep a mental image. Visualize yourself on the other side of this journey. Capture your vision for the future through journaling.
Ask yourself: What does my future look like upon achieving my goal? Who will be by my side? What will my daily life entail? What effects will this change have on myself and others? Who will be there to celebrate with me? Who might distract me or prove unsupportive?
Step 5: Refine Your Plan
Now, it’s time to determine a timeline. Revisit your personal goal statement, carefully considering your lifestyle, commitments, and responsibilities. Set a target date for achieving your goal, and establish “milestones” along your journey.
Step 6: Reach Out for Support
Most goals are achieved in collaboration with others. You’ll likely require support to remain accountable. You may also need encouragement during times of difficulty or doubt. Identify a trustworthy friend who can help keep you on track. Schedule a coffee or lunch meeting (bring your journal along with your notes). Share your goals and your “why” openly and honestly with them. Ask if they’d commit to regular meetings until you reach your objective.
Step 7: Execute Your Plan
It’s time to make strides toward your objectives! Remember that small steps can lead to substantial change. Consistency in managing minor tasks contributes to greater successes. Embrace the motto, “One step at a time.” Each new day brings fresh opportunities to pursue your goal. Before beginning your day, consciously decide to engage in actions that align with your personal goal statement. Sincesetbacks are part of the human experience, don’t dwell in them. Reach out to your accountability partner (from step 6) and share your challenges. Discuss strategies that can help you navigate obstacles going forward.
Step 8: Celebrate
Celebrate each day! While it might be tempting to postpone celebrations until your goal is completed, don’t wait! You are meant to rejoice continuously. Actively seek out and appreciate your daily victories, however small they may be—the small gestures of self-discipline and the choices that align with your personal goal statement. Celebrate every step!
Step 9: Experience Life
As you undertake the daily tasks required to fulfill your goal, remain fully engaged in the moment. Appreciate the process. You know the effort and dedication you’re investing, along with the sacrifices you’re making. Absorb every aspect of this journey as it molds you into the person you were meant to become.
A well-crafted personal game plan is an invaluable tool and motivator for reaching your goals. Implementing this structured approach will provide a solid foundation for accomplishing your smaller tasks and creating the abundant life you are designed to lead…
About Dr. Melanie Ross Mills
Dr. Melanie Ross Mills, an emerging thought leader, has garnered national recognition for her exceptional ability to connect and inspire others. She holds the titles of Relational Health and Friendship Expert, as well as a licensed Temperament Therapist. Often referred to as “everyone’s heart doctor,” Dr. Mills’s expertise commands respect. However, it is her endearing persona of “Dr. Mel” that resonates deeply with her audience. Her blend of insight, experience, humor, and authenticity fosters genuine discussions that prompt actionable change.
She frequently appears as a contributor on ABC Channel 8 WFAA. Her insights have also been featured on ABC’s Good Morning America, CBS, NBC, FOX, CW33, News Nation, among others. Her esteemed advice has been quoted in leading publications like Today, Bloomberg, US News and World Report, Business Insider, Forbes, Time, Cosmopolitan, Reader’s Digest, Self, Women’s Health, Brides, Chicago Tribune, Essence, Bravo, Where, Inside Fitness, Park Cities People, Park Cities News, Good Life Family Magazine, and many more.
Dr. Mills graduated magna cum laude with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate of Philosophy in Temperament Therapy. She is certified in Pastoral Clinical Counseling and earned an undergraduate Bachelor of Science degree in Applied Learning and Development (Youth and Community Studies), receiving an Endowed Scholarship Academic Excellence Award and an Order of Omega Award for her achievements at the University of Texas at Austin.
For more details, visit: https://www.melanierossmills.com
