Steps to Elevate Your Self-Love and Foster Happier, Healthier Relationships
by Deborah Dobbs, MA | Contributor
What comes to mind when you hear the term self-love? Does it feel overly sentimental? Self-centered? A luxury you believe you can’t afford? I confess that the notion once prompted an eye roll or feelings of guilt, depending on my mood.
It was helpful to reframe love as not merely an emotion. True love is about action. It’s about forgiving someone for a mistake, preparing their favorite meal, giving well-deserved recognition, providing comfort, and being thoughtful before you speak. These acts of love nurture thriving relationships and can have lasting effects through generations.
The concept of love remains unchanged when directed towards oneself. It simply signifies that you are actively engaging in your own well-being. Self-love is as essential as regular physical activity and nutritious eating. Additionally, practicing self-love enhances your ability to love others, which adds another benefit.
At times, understanding how self-love operates can be challenging, so here are four straightforward tips to help you get started or invigorate your current practices.
Embrace Gratitude
The advantages of gratitude are undeniable, and it’s simple to implement: each day, voice out loud or jot down at least three things you appreciate. It could be your child completing a chore without being asked or the comfort of your bed. Mindfully acknowledging your blessings is a quick and effective way to nurture yourself.
Meditate
Meditation offers a variety of benefits, such as improved focus and decreased stress levels. It’s not about “emptying your mind.” Rather, it empowers you to take control of your nervous system. Personally, my thoughts tend to bounce around like a rubber ball, so I rely on guided meditation. Thankfully, there are numerous apps available with sessions as brief as 10 minutes, removing any excuses for not practicing.
Engage in an Enjoyable Activity Daily, Free from Distractions
This doesn’t need to consume too much time or effort. For example, I really enjoy my morning coffee, particularly when I’m outside. I set my phone aside and resist the temptation to dwell on work-related thoughts. Instead, I savor my coffee, inhale the fresh air, and simply relish the moment.
Be Mindful of Your Self-Talk
Reflect on how you converse with yourself, especially after making a mistake. Would you speak to a beloved friend in that manner? If the answer is no, it’s time to adjust your internal dialogue. Address yourself in a loving tone, just as you would with someone you care for. If you falter, recognize that you might be experiencing stress. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes. Like everyone else, you are human and continuously evolving.
Editor’s Note: Debbie Dobbs is the Executive Director of The Counseling Place, a nonprofit organization that provides affordable professional and educational services and counseling. You can reach her at 469.283.0242 or visit counselingplace.org.
