By Paula Bennett | Contributor
Try as we might, staying cool during a Texas summer can feel nearly impossible. Over time, we have discovered various tricks to help us manage the heat, such as spending time at the pool, visiting our favorite sno-cone stand, hanging out at the ice skating rink, or simply lowering the air conditioning a few degrees.
These strategies only address the physical discomfort, however. The emotional strain of summer can lead to shorter tempers, especially for those experiencing a separation or divorce, which can escalate tensions and lead to negative outcomes. It’s vital to find ways to reduce anger and bitterness in your interactions.
As a family law attorney, I have witnessed how stressful the divorce process can be for my clients, particularly in high-conflict scenarios. Emotions can easily spiral out of control, especially when children are involved. While every divorce is unique, it’s crucial to learn how to recognize and manage emotional triggers to prepare for what lies ahead. When disputes can arise at any moment, there are effective strategies you can implement to help ease the tension during a divorce.
Maintain Calm Communication
Regardless of the circumstances, strive to remain composed when communicating with your soon-to-be ex-partner. This is not always easy, and there will definitely be challenging moments during your exchanges, but refrain from raising your voice or resorting to insults. If you feel that your spouse is being cruel or manipulative, responding in kind will achieve nothing beneficial. Stay true to yourself and do not let their negative behavior influence your character. Keep in mind that your responses may be presented to a judge at some stage of the proceedings.
Sorting through conflicting emotions can be tough, but addressing them yourself is most beneficial. Allowing anger at your former partner to consume you will hinder your healing process. Ensure that your frustration or disappointment does not affect your children negatively. Seeking professional help can also aid in managing the emotional challenges that accompany divorce.
Prepare Yourself
Once you acknowledge that your marriage is ending, and you wish for an amicable resolution, it’s essential to prepare for the upcoming process. Familiarize yourself with the steps involved in divorce. Consider the following questions:
• What type of experiences should I anticipate?
• How will our assets be divided?
• Am I entitled to alimony?
• What will happen regarding our children?
Understand Your Attorney
Find a lawyer whom you trust. When selecting the appropriate attorney for your situation, conduct thorough research. Is the attorney board certified in Family Law? What is their billing structure? Other pertinent questions include:
• How long does the divorce typically take?
• What proactive steps can I take to protect myself now?
Bear in mind that the information shared during an attorney-client consultation is confidential. Providing your attorney with comprehensive details at the outset will facilitate the process.
Assess Your Financial Position
Understanding your financial landscape and tracking all of your expenses are crucial steps during a divorce. If you weren’t the one managing the household budget, don’t worry; start by creating a budget that outlines your anticipated expenses, as you may need to delve deeper into your financials sooner rather than later.
Child Custody
Your children’s well-being will likely be your foremost concern throughout the divorce. They will be affected by every decision made. Engage in discussions with your spouse about prioritizing the best interests of your children. If communication is difficult, consult your attorney to determine the most suitable custody arrangement for your kids. Avoid addressing the divorce in front of your children; instead, aim to foster a positive emotional environment and demonstrate how to manage difficult situations effectively.
Remember, while divorce is a life event, it is something you can navigate and overcome. Rather than signaling the end, it can mark the start of a new, better chapter in your life.
Editor’s Note: Paula Bennett is a partner in the Family Law boutique Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP. She can be reached by calling (214) 273-2400.
