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By Dr. Dean Beckloff | Contributor
Coronavirus—COVID-19—is instilling a sense of fear worldwide, from the U.S. to individual states, cities, and even our homes. Public venues like theaters, sporting events, Apple stores, Disney World, and schools are shutting down. Toilet paper has become a surprising hot commodity. Governments are placing restrictions on gatherings to enforce “social distancing.” This situation is generating fear, and it’s affecting adults and children alike. Anxiety is part of our human nature; it serves a purpose by prompting us to maintain our safety in perilous situations. All living beings experience this anxiety/fear response, including us humans.
Maintain a Routine
As much as possible, try to keep life consistent. Most of us are washing our hands and using hand sanitizer more frequently, and we must teach our children to do the same. While we adopt new safety measures, it’s important to maintain our usual routines and boundaries: waking up at the same time, brushing teeth, showering, having dinner, and going to bed on schedule. These regular expectations help reassure our children that life continues as it should, promoting a sense of normalcy.
Communicate with Kids at Their Level
With younger children, keep conversations straightforward. Introduce new safety rules, like handwashing, and discuss ways to stay safe. Kids rely on your guidance, and your leadership will help them follow along (though some resistance is normal!). For middle and high schoolers, provide more detailed information. They are likely absorbing information from various sources, and facts can soothe their anxiety. Provide them with the understanding that while this virus might make them sick, it’s generally not severe, and they will recover.
Be Mindful of Your Own Fears
This applies to both your spoken and unspoken communications. Kids don’t need to bear the weight of our fears regarding the situation. It’s our responsibility to shield them from our anxieties. Avoid discussing your fears within earshot of your children; they are keen listeners. Also, they can read our nonverbal cues—our facial expressions, body language, etc. Strive to maintain a calm and normal demeanor. Remember, “never let them see you sweat” is an apt principle for interactions with kids. Consciously relax your facial muscles, as you might be more tense than you realize!
Stick to the Facts
Provide kids with factual information. Knowledge helps manage fear, so keep yourself informed about the current situation and any other stressors. Empower your children with age-appropriate facts. Younger kids don’t need to be overwhelmed with every detail, and it’s crucial that they maintain a sense of childhood joy. This also applies to teenagers; we don’t want to rob them of their adolescence. Help them find ways to enjoy themselves amidst uncertainty. Remember, facts promote confidence. “Kids worry more when they’re kept in the dark.” – Rachel Ehmke
Limit News Consumption
As a news enthusiast, it’s tempting to have it on all the time, but resist the urge for the sake of your kids. They don’t need constant exposure to the anxiety that media can bring (and neither do we, considering the uncertainties). Turn off the news and encourage your children to engage in other activities. Explore nature together—identify local birds and trees. Shift focus to creative projects, like art or LEGO. Initiate a 1000-piece puzzle that family members can work on at their leisure. Break out board games or bake cookies; even have a make-your-own-pizza night. For younger children, spend some time on the floor playing together and enjoying the moment.
Encourage Helping Others
Whether they’re teens or younger, guide your kids to understand that changes are made to support the well-being of others. While we might be okay, even if we contract the virus, it’s vital to observe social distancing for the safety of those more vulnerable, such as the elderly or those with health conditions. Emphasizing generosity can create a sense of purpose. As John Lennon sang, we are part of the community of humanity. Life is valuable, and our actions serve to help others. When children feel they can make a positive impact, it boosts their self-esteem. Use this challenging time to instill values in your kids, fostering a healthy self-image.
Editor’s Note: Dr. Dean Beckloff is a pediatric therapist and the founder of the Beckloff Behavioral Center in Dallas. If you wish to contact Dr. Beckloff, he can be reached at: DrBeckloff.com / 972.250.1700.
