by Dr. Melanie Ross Mills | Contributor
As a Temperament Therapist and Life Strategist, I have engaged with numerous clients looking for a “quick fix” or simple solutions to achieve their goals.
Sadly, excuses often emerge when we address the effort and steps necessary to reach those goals. Whether expressed verbally or implied, it becomes clear they are not ready to commit to the hard work required for their desired outcomes.
• I can’t change because I haven’t in the past.
• I don’t feel equipped to accomplish my goals.
• There’s no hope for change because I am stuck.
Change is always feasible if you are motivated and willing to strengthen a crucial aspect: your “decision-making muscle.” Enhancing this “muscle” will allow you to listen, learn, and persist toward your goal. An internal confidence will develop as you transition from mere “knowledge” to genuine “engagement.” You will evolve from just thinking and knowing what to do to actually taking action with each empowered choice.
Just as building physical strength requires time and effort, transformation does not happen overnight. Patience and perseverance will be your allies. Fear and excuses may challenge your optimism. Illogical or unrealistic perspectives can lead to failure, preventing you from accomplishing the tasks you have set for yourself.
By taking charge of your mindset, overcoming challenges, and making intentional choices, you’ll reflect on your progress and realize that to achieve your goals and develop your “decision-making muscle,” you need a clear game plan, internal motivation, commitment, and external support.
Here are 10 steps to initiate your game plan. Take it one step at a time, and remember that lasting change occurs throughout the journey, not through a “quick fix.”
Step 1: Define your goal
Clearly articulate your goal as best as you can.
What do you genuinely wish to accomplish?
Do you have any underlying insecurities that might obstruct you?
Have you pursued a similar objective in the past? What was the outcome?
Is this a long-term or short-term goal?
How long do you estimate it will take to achieve this goal?
Step 2: Define your motivation
Examine your heart thoroughly.
What is your true incentive for pursuing this goal?
Are you secretly seeking recognition, attention, or affirmation?
Do you aspire to enhance your health through your goal setting?
Step 3: Define your personal responsibilities
Assess your responsibilities realistically.
Where will you need to step beyond your comfort zone to reach your goal?
Will you need to join specific groups, meet certain individuals, or visit particular places?
Will there be a requirement to invest financially, physically, emotionally, or mentally in new ways to achieve your goal?
Step 4: Define your hindrances
Identify what may impede your progress.
In Step 1, you highlighted some fears and insecurities.
Now, after reflecting more deeply on what is required of you, are there further hindrances that might obstruct your path?
Examine personal hurts, fears, habits, unhealthy patterns, false beliefs about yourself, lack of support, relationship issues, and any other potential barriers that could hold you back.
What personal limitations might prevent you from achieving your goal?
What fears might leave you feeling trapped, stagnant, or fearful?
What has historically held you back?
Step 5: Define your expectations
Clarify what you hope to see unfold.
What outcomes would you like to witness in the short term?
What results are important to you in the long term?
Are you more attached to the outcome than the process?
How will achieving your goal transform you personally?
What support do those around you need to provide to help you reach your goal?
Step 6: Define your support system
Identify your support network.
Who are you willing to share Steps 1-5 with (select someone trustworthy)?
Who genuinely has your best interests at heart?
Who has consistently been reliable and safe in your life?
Who can offer you honest feedback, insights, and suggestions?
Step 7: Define your future
Analyze your future in detail.
Can you envision yourself having achieved your goal?
What will your emotional, physical, and mental state look like on the other side (and perhaps spiritual as well)?
What impact will accomplishing your goal have on you, others, and the world at large?
Step 8: Define your life
Prepare to take action!
You are now ready to move forward!
You have laid out your plan, and it’s time to implement it—one day at a time.
Reach out to your support system as needed and commit to regular check-ins.
You will do what is necessary, with each day presenting fresh challenges as well as victories and opportunities.
Step 9: Define your victories
Celebrate your progress!
Recognize the strides you are making toward a goal you might have deemed unattainable.
This journey is what makes life beautiful and rewarding! Celebrate!
Step 10: Define your take-away
Congratulations!
By reaching Step 10, you have achieved life-changing results!
You have experienced joy, satisfaction, and frustration along the way.
You have cultivated personal resilience. Looking back, you can see your goal achieved!
Your outcome may look different than your initial vision, but you did it!
You understand the effort it took to arrive here and should feel proud.
Reflect on the journey, the obstacles, and the triumphs.
What unexpected moments arose? Did your motivations shift from the beginning to the end? Did your support system evolve over time? Were you satisfied with the time it took?
What surprises did you encounter?
How did your pursuit impact, inspire, and challenge those who witnessed your journey?
What changes could you have made for even greater success?
Most importantly, how have you changed as a person by pursuing this goal?
Now it’s time to gather your support system and celebrate together! Then, begin anew with Step 1.
Editor’s Note: You can contact Dr. Mills at www.melanierossmills.com and listen to her podcasts on goodlifefamilymag.com.
