By Taylor Mohr | Contributor
For parents, the holidays can be a whirlwind of emotions—some filled with joy and others steeped in stress. A tight budget from gifts and travel, extended family gatherings, and sugar-fueled kids on break can all contribute to a mix that often shifts holiday happiness into holiday tension. This experience can be even more intense for divorced or separated parents. However, it is possible for divorced or separated parents to enjoy the holiday season. Here are five strategies to make that happen:
No. 1 | Understand the Guidelines
Review your court order, if applicable. Knowing who is responsible for what, when, and where can significantly reduce the stress and arguments related to scheduling. It’s wise to revisit this document every year to refresh your memory. Court orders often have complex language, so reach out to an attorney if you have any uncertainties. Avoiding assumptions is crucial, as they can lead to complications with the court later on, not to mention spoil your festive dinner.
No. 2 | Be Willing to Compromise
Once you’re familiar with the guidelines, be ready to adjust them. If the other parent wants to drop the kids off an hour later and it doesn’t interfere with your plans, go ahead and agree. Granting an extra hour of visitation is usually worthwhile for maintaining peace. Collaborate on agreements and make compromises where possible. This not only demonstrates your co-parenting skills, but also fosters a healthy relationship with your ex, enhancing the likelihood that the kids will create joyful memories at both homes.
No. 3 | Prepare in Advance
With a clear understanding of the schedule and a willingness to compromise, start mapping out your family events as early as possible. Organizing visits with grandparents, cousins, and friends is challenging enough when everyone is together. With two households to consider, it can feel nearly impossible. To keep things running smoothly, coordinate your schedules early enough to facilitate smoother transitions. After planning your family events, share them with the other parent using a shared calendar so everyone stays informed of the holiday plans.
No. 4 | Focus on Positivity
The holiday season is not the time to dwell on what’s gone wrong. If financial constraints prevented you from buying that special gift for your child, try to move past the resentment. Recall the saying: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”—at least until the holidays are over. Your kids will sense any tension in the environment. If you’re upset with your ex or frustrated with your circumstances, it will detract from your kids’ holiday enjoyment. Remember, you have the right to have a joyous holiday, so don’t allow your ex to diminish your happiness. Whether your relationship with your ex is amicable or strained, concentrate on the positives, primarily your time spent with your children.
No. 5 | Create New Traditions
One of the toughest aspects of navigating the holidays after a divorce is adjusting to changes in your routine. Some traditions will need to be altered or may even fade away. Instead of lamenting the loss of familiar celebrations, inspire your children to get excited about new experiences. Explore ideas together online and choose your favorites. Engage in fun activities, volunteer as a family, and look forward rather than backward. With a positive mindset, you’ll soon find that the new traditions can be even more enjoyable than the ones you left behind.
Editor’s Note: Taylor Mohr is an attorney with the boutique Family Law firm Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP. Reach her at ondafamilylaw.com or 214.273.2400.
